All this while I know and accept the fact that most people don't take me seriously. I don't mind, in fact to me it's their lost not mine. But today I am really hurt. I felt like this one person just stepped my heart and treated like crap. I know that I am not high educated and clever, I only wants my choice to be respected. Not to be judge or laugh at. My choice and decision is never 100% good, but at least respect my choice. I don't bother about their choices even though most times to me they are stupid / ridiculous. But did I laugh at your choices? Did I vigorously tell it to your face that your opinion are the shittiest thing I've ever heard??? Not that I can think of! I am not the type that gets mad or sulk for a long time but today it's just hard for me to just forget what happened.

I know that I am not important to anyone. I am not asking anything to anyone. I am not expecting anything from anyone. Friends, love ones or colleagues. I am here just to live happy - at least for myself. All I am asking is RESPECT. Not only to my body, but also to my emotions and thoughts. All these didn't involve other people. Things I do, I do it alone. I have been alone all my life. No one care about me. Yeah, they said they care. Little did they know that I am not stupid. Though I would just believe what they say? what they call "care" to me is responsibility. I was their responsible. That is why they act they care. I have nothing to offer to anyone. Why should they care about me? Now that I am no ones responsibility, for once I finally felt free. At this point, I really feel ALONE. Do I mind being alone? Before this I am emotionally alone but always with people around me. This time I have only 1 person who is with me 24/7 but I am full and happy.... until it is now proven I am really like a debris here on earth. My own girl no longer wants to be with me, why would I expect there's better things awaits for me?

Come to think about it, since me childhood my environment was never really a happy environment, but I manage to entertain myself. I am not blaming anyone for it. Point is, I am sad. I really feel like my heart just been crushed to pieces by him. How he cynically laugh at the things I like. I never force him to like them. I am just telling him. Ronan Keating was right. "you say is best when you say nothing at all" it is best for me to have less conversation.