Just Chill Pal!

Here's an article which I find most of us might experienced it.. It's from Msia Cleo mag Nov'08 issue.

I wanted to tell you about Cindy and Maggie. They were once the closest of friends. They met 4 years ago, management trainees at Company X. They had chemistry from the start. They lunched together, walked home together, doubled up in hysteric imitating their boss together. Once they had a tiff, when Maggie was on some cockamimie diet and forced Cindy to walk with her for hours until they found a restaurant that served brown rice and vegetables. Cindy hated the meal and made them leave halfway through it. They were mad at each other , but the next morning, they giggled about it. "The things I did for you!" Cindy screeched. "The things you did for me?" Maggie hooted.

But now, after 4 years, their lives are different. Cindy likes her new job; Maggie abhors hers. Cindy has a boyfriend; Maggie doesn't. For weeks, Maggie has been depresses, self-absorbed, a pill to be around. And Cindy is not sure what to do: How long do you put up with a friend's unpleasant moods and bratty behaviours because you know she is down?

For quite sometime, Cindy does try to tolerant approach. Whenever Maggie wants to talk about herself, Cindy patiently listens - even though it means that their conversation turn into Maggie's Tedious Monologues.

One afternoon, Cindy just has to butt in: "Guess what! G&G Advertising wants me to interview for a job." " Never heard of them" says Maggie, looking bored. She's like a person Cindy doesn't want to know.

As weeks go by, Maggie's crimes against friendship mount. She forgets to call on Cindy's birthday. She makes extravagant plans with a friend of theirs who is visiting from out-of-town for a night Cindy already said she was busy. Ans nor once, in all these times, does Maggie say she's sorry. Finally, Cindy asked herself: Why bother with this woman anymore?

Ditching Maggie is an option. But Cindy can also choose another course. The next time Maggie is rude, Cindy can confront her. For instance, if Maggie leaves her out of plans with friends again, Cindy can say, "That was mean, why'd you do it?"

Yes, the conversation will be uncomfortable. Maggie is likely to take offence, deny she was being inconsiderate. An apology of some sort from her is probably what it wall take to save your friendship. Son, don't back down now. Stick to your grievance. And as sickly sweet this sounds, it will help if you bare your vulnerable side too - by admitting "What you did hurt me."

Cindy may, in fact, try this tack with Maggie. And if she does, soon after she will probably wonder how she could ever contemplated ditching this woman who was, is and always be, one of her closest friends.